A man who could not marry off his ugly daughter visited his priest for advice. "My heart is heavy," he told the priest, "Because God has given me an ugly daughter."
"How ugly?" the Padre asked.
"If she were lying on a plate with a herring, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference."
The priest thought for a long time and finally asked, "What type of herring?"
The man taken aback by the query, thought quickly and said, "Er,- a Bismark."
"Too bad," the priest said. "If it was a Maatjes, she'd have a better chance.
Here is a tale that illustrates the tragedy of transient qualities such as beauty. Does a girl actually resemble a herring? Why not? Have you seen some of the things walking about these days, particularly on the coastal areas? And even if she does, are not all creatures beautiful in Gods eyes? Perhaps, but if a girl looks more at home in a jar of wine sauce than in an evening gown she's got big problems. Oddly enough, the wife of the priest from the tale was said to resemble a squid, but this was only in the face, and she more than made up for it by her hacking cough - the point of which escapes me.
Anyhow, all that apart, here's a mix from TOLAS favourite Ivan Smagghe. Earlier this month saw Ivan donning the sandals and balearic vest for the launch of 'Sunray Cider' with a pair of gigs in the exotic locals of Jakarta and Bali. Luckily, thanks to a heads up from our good friend Mo Morris (Zsou/Mountain Of One) we were able to get our grubby paws on this rare as hens teeth 'Unmixed Mix' that Ivan put together specially for the occasion. As you can imagine, its chock full of some of the most gorgeously weird, un-Shazamable nuggets you'll ever be lucky enough to hear. Waste no time and jam this into your head.
Cheers again to Mo and the good people at Sunray for chucking this our way.
Big love.
Mark. X
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